Priam the Wildman, Carnival Prince of Zirkusburg

Long ago, two adventurers tracked down and killed a fallen star. The wealth they gained from such a grand haul was the stuff of legends, the treasure of Popes and Emperors. The corpse of a star, besides being a source of reagents and ingredients for powerful spells, elixirs, and other arcane purposes, is composed of valuable metals and gems. Its skin is gold and silver, its bones adamant, its ichor liquid platinum... or so the legends go. All stories agree that such wealth would be more than one hundred men could spend in their lifetimes, so what would two men do with such treasure...

Zirkusburg

If you are to take the road north of Mittenburg, past the walled town of Beörnburg, up towards the desolate shore of Trollesund, you will come to a strange town in the midst of the woods. Approaching through the dark forest, along a bare yet well trodden earthen road, you will at first see the wild coloured lights shining through the gaps in the trees. Hints of will-o-the-wisp, elflights, or some surreal dream eventually resolve to find a brightly lit and coloured town unlike any settlement to be found elsewhere in the world. 

Wandering the streets can often be a sudden shock after the long journey through wilderness that it takes to get here, being suddenly immersed in a riot of colour, noise, movement, and action. At every street corner is advertised a new distraction, a non stop parade of stilt walkers, fire breathers, and other street performers flows through the streets. The lights, sounds, and motion of the place often leaves the unwary completely discombobulated and liable to wander into any open and enticing door.

Zirkusburg is a city of entertainers. A city of fools, clowns, singers, jugglers, tumblers, troubadours, and any other whimsical delight one might afford. It is said that every travelling minstrel, puppet show, or commedia troupe will eventually call Zirkusburg home. Theatres and musical halls abut taverns and inns, each overflowing with a plethora of performers. It is a town of endless distraction, drawing the curious and the hedonistic to sample all the excesses of such a zenith of entertainment.

The town fluctuates in its population, the troupes of performers and entertainers ranging far and wide during the summer months, and returning for regular lodging, viands, and support in the cold winter. The town of performers is on a permanent stipend from its ruler, a notoriously wealthy eccentric whose boundless coffers allow an entire economy of performers and entertainers to be sustained year round.

For this town and the surrounding country is ruled over by the lord of the land, the Carnival Prince.

Forbidden Delights of Zirkusburg

It is known that the Carnival Prince has a taste for exotic and mind altering substances, and thus it may be why Zirkusburg is one of the only urban centres in which Halflings can be found in abundance, mostly in a warren of earthen tunnels and basements running underneath the town.

The Halfling mushroom farms, breweries, distilleries, and apothecariums are supported by Zirkusburg to produce ever more potent psychoactives. Mostly specializing in sedatives and hallucinogens, they are coupled with smoky dens in which the induced trance state is interwoven with performances of music and poetry to create a completely new immersive artistic experience.

Also, pretty much anything you want that will get you high, you will find it here. If using carousing rules Zirkusburg always counts as a Capital Grade City on the weekend (10% bonus to XP), but when rolling for carousing complications you must roll twice and combine (it's a weird place full of trouble after all).

Priam the Carnival Prince

All know that Prince Priam caught a falling star, and such is the source of his wealth. The ichors and organs of the great star he sold off to the universities, and the metals and gems he converted into great balances at the banking houses of the southern cities. It is rumored that he sits yet upon a great pile of gold and wealth from this first adventure, but much of his wealth was spent on buying the title he now holds. Buying up otherwise barren forest land in Trollesund along with the Princely title to rule the domain from the dissipated line of Bärenjäger Princes (whose speculation on trading voyages had brought down the fortunes of that once mighty house). The old established noble houses of the Empire look down on this arriviste, and occasionally send half hearted petitions to the Imperial Diet, the Emperor's Chancellor, and even the College of Heralds entreating his removal from Princely rank all to no avail.

Despite this the Carnival Prince insists that he is noble by blood as well as by wealth, claiming descent from the noble line of Priamus, a family whose genealogy dates back to King Priam of Troy. The Priams were indeed a noble line of palace functionaries in the city of St Basil's Folly (although dogged with rumors of unsavory practices) however the family is thought to have died out when the last of the blood ventured into the mountains in search of a mythical ruin, and that this Priam may be a pretender to the name. However, in real and practical terms, no-one is likely to challenge his assertions in any real fashion beyond scurrilous rumours in fashionable salons and noble dining halls. 

For those fortunate enough to secure an audience with the Carnival Prince, or rather Priam the Wildman as he insists still on styling himself, he is indeed a wild looking individual. He sits in his darkened tent, the entrance of which is guarded by a motley assortment of fire-breathers, knife throwers, and strongmen. The air is oppressive, being filled with the smoke of opium and hashish, the wildman crouches hulking in his furs, wild red eyes stare out from under beetling brows filled with paranoia and suspicion. Savage sharp teeth more akin to a tiger's than a man's gleam like polished steel in his large grinning mouth, and long leonine claws protrude from his fingertips and at the end of bare toes.

Priam's audiences are always disconcerting affairs. In addition to, and perhaps to accentuate, his outlandish appearance he is often attended even in the most politically sensitive of meetings by one of his many consorts. These women are always of as unusual appearance as their paramour being bearded, or covered every inch in a exotic illustrations tattooed on their skin, or displaying some great physical abnormality that would draw rustics by the score to gape at them in a sideshow.

He seems to know more than he should about those who wish to meet with him. He always implies that he knows exactly the information that people need, and always seems to glean more than he gives. There is a palpable air of menace from the Carnival Prince, and not simply from his animalistic appearance. He will never give anything away for free, but is willing to barter in gold, information, and favours (invariably getting the better deal of the exchange).

 

Secrets of Zirkusburg

Many come to Zirkusburg, and to the court of the Carnival Prince, not for pleasure and distraction but for far more sinister means. Agents of far distant cities and foreign powers converge clandestinely on the town in order to purchase that most valuable of all commodities: information. It is rumoured in shadowy halls and circles that the Carnival Prince has some sort of magic gleaned from the occult remnants of the slain star that grants him insights and secrets from far flung corners of the globe. This is the true secret of the wealth of Zirkusburg, and how the town of entertainers can stay fed.

Nearly every entertainer, travelling bard, circus troupe, or band of mummers is indeed a sometime citizen of Zirkusburg. They listen, and they watch. It is assumed by outsiders that all the citizens of the town return when winter comes, but in truth all those who swear loyalty to Zirkusburg and its eccentric Prince would not fit were they all to return at once. Every fairground troupe, every singer wintering in a Lord's hall, every tavern side tale teller, is in truth a secret citizen of Zirkusburg.

This is the true secret wealth of Zirkusburg, and a source of political power for its Prince. Had he merely relied on the wealth of the slaughtered star he would have spent his coffers dry years ago (for all that it was such a great sum keeping so many fed on imported grain is not cheap) The flow of information, and clandestine operations allows the entertainers city to flourish, and woe betide any non-citizen who attempts to profit in one of these trades independently. Zirkusburg guards its monopoly closely.

Priam desires even greater political control and even greater wealth. Ideally, Priam would have informants and agents in every single court, ruling house, and Imperial palace on the face of the planet, and sit at the centre of a great web of intrigue pulling the strings of the world. Many of his people are already well ensconced within the halls of the mighty, however for Priam there can always be more. To that end is why he consumed the heart of the star that was his treasure, he can already feel the power working through him, transforming him, extending his senses beyond the supernatural and into the godlike.

Above all else, Priam wishes for the second half of the heart of the star, and will pay any price to those who might steal it from the shadowy figure of Doctor Plagueis. He has never managed to find where his erstwhile companion disappeared to after they parted ways having split the carcass of the celestial being down the centre. For all his network of intelligence he has precious little to go on, as the Doctor has not (to his knowledge) resurfaced in the civilized world. He knows that Plagueis returned with the Kobolds to their dingy cave, but so far all the agents he has sent to spy them out have either never found them, or never returned at all. Priam is very rich, and very powerful, and willing to pay a great price to obtain what he desires, especially if he can employ disposable nobodies rather than risk more of his loyal agents.

Denizens of Zirkusburg

Wandering around Zirkusburg (1d12)

1. A group of 1d4 Halfling pushers eager to get you to try their latest concoction of psychadelics and sedatives. They are willing to spike drinks for science (1d10 roll twice and combine 1) Sedative, 2) Euphoric, 3) Stimulant, 4) Hallucinogen, 5) Purgative, 6) Opioid, 7) Depressant, 8) Healing draught 9) Truth serum 10) No effect )
2. A Carnival Barker eagerly touting a diversion (1d6: 1) Freak Show, 2) Theatrical Production, 3) Beer Hall with Live Music, 4) Gambling Den, 5) Acrobatics Performance, 6) Striptease Parlour) roughly 30% chance that it is a con to rob you.
3. A group of 1d3 Puppeteers performing a show in the street, usually a comedy or a fairy tale of knights and dragons. They are very good, but anyone observing the show for more than a minute must save against magic or become controlled by one of the puppeteers. They will usually only compel their victim to drop some gold in their hat. Usually. Effect lasts until the puppeteers are out of sight.
4. A group of 1d6 Fire Breathers performing with torches and lit staves. Currently performing an impressive routine. They are also some of the enforcers of Priam's will. If the characters are doing anything that may be seen as retrograde to the desires of the Carnival Prince they will spoil for a fight. Fight with staves as first level fighters, if they roll max damage with their staff the target will be set aflame. They can also choose to breathe fire at a target, save to dodge or be set aflame.
5. A group of 1d8 Jugglers on parade, and also members of Priam's secret police in Zirkusburg. 1 in 6 chance that they will deliver a clandestine threat or message to one of the PCs when others are distracted by their performance. Can throw their knives for 1d4 damage and stat as second level thieves.
6. A troupe of 1d10 Mummers playing out a public performance (1d4 1) Bawdy Mime, 2) Commedia dell'arte, 3) Religious Mystery Play, 4) Satyr Play) all of which involve audience participation whether you want it or not. Urchin pickpockets work the crowds cutting purses.
7. A Troubadour singing tales of courtly love and adventure. They desire attention to their song, and will gladly spread important news and rumours to a willing audience through the medium of verse.
8. A much out of place looking fellow dressing in drab colours. They are an agent of a Foreign Power (1d6: 1) Neighbouring Principality, 2) Rich Merchant City of the Middle Sea, 3) Petty Kingdom 4) The Imperial Court, 5) A Distant and Foreign Power, 6) Another Planet). Will react with hostility and suspicion if they think their purpose in town has been deduced, or if they suspect the PCs of being rival agents. May attempt to hire the adventurers as catspaws against rivals in Zirkusburg or further afield. 
9. A tour group of 1d12 tourists, monied travellers here to sample the legendary sights and sounds of Zirkusburg. Alternately charmingly naive and enchanted by the sights, and brayingly annoying and patronising. Each of them carries d1000 coins they need help in spending/losing in the city.
10. A group of 1d6 burlesque performers in gaudy outfits bedecked with fluttering silks and feathers. They will entice any observers to interact with them with erotic and seductive hints and implications, only to turn the tables with a prank or comic turn. Burlesque sure is a confusing art-form sometimes.
11. A single Classical Actor declaiming a dramatic speech from one of the great tragedies. Hopes to be employed in one of the larger theatrical troupes. Will be immediately impressed and fawning on anyone claiming to be a theatrical producer or agent of a company. Very good actor, can flawlessly imitate anyone they have observed.
12. A Dancing Bear leashed by a chain to its handler. The bear can perform several tricks, such as a shuffling dance, a courtly bow, balancing things upon its head, and playing the piano but not very well. In the case of combat the bear is (1d10) 1-3 A well treated but captive animal, well trained but will escape if possible (will attack if instucted, will flee if handler dies), 4-6 A beaten and broken animal unwilling to do aught but cower if provoked (will attack if directed, but immediately shy away from any character that strikes back and will not attack again), 7-9 Mad as hell and not going to take it anymore (will attack all that threaten it, but will maul the handler to the delight of all if given the chance), 10 A beloved pet as devoted to its handler and its handler is to it (will defend handler with its life, handler will sacrifice themselves to save the bear).

Priam the Wildman, Carnival Prince of Zirkusburg
HD: 4

AC: As Leather

Attacks: 2 claw (d6 each)

Special Actions:

Eat: Any object (or dismembered body part) that can be fitted inside Priam's gaping maw can be instantly consumed by him with no ill effect. If he has grappled a character, he can take his action (in place of his two attacks) to bite off one of their extremeties. Feet are his preference, but he will bite off hands if this seems more advantageous to him.

Second Sight: Priam always knows more than he should, both from his vast spy network and his weird star-granted powers. In addition to possessing any piece of information the players might want, he is also free to know any character background secrets, or even plans discussed by the players out of character (fourth wall breaking is encouraged). He also cannot be surprised or sneak attacked in combat.

Zirkusburg Adventure Hooks

Some reasons for players to come to, and be enmeshed in Zirkusburg:

• You're walking in the woods, there's no one around and your palantír is dead. Out of the corner of your eye you spot him... Shia LaBeouf the lights of Zirkusburg. 
•  On the trail of a great artefact, you are directed by a contact that all information can be found in Zirkusburg, for a price.
•  Chasing down a troubadour who stole the heart of an Imperial Prince's daughter you hear of the city of troubadours to which all will eventually return
•  You need to find entertainers for the Duke's big gala! Fortunately, you have heard rumours of a town dedicated to the crafts
•  A new potent narcotic is flodding the port towns, you are on the trail to track down the source and stop it/get a piece of the action/secure a supply chain for the next time you need a fix
•  The Carnival Prince has a task for you, to find half the heart of a star. He has heard of your reputation for problem-solving and summons you to his town to discuss terms
• It's medieval vegas, people will just want to go there if they hear about it...

To Catch A Star: An Adventure on the Orrery

So, in the regular group I am in our GM is taking a break, and so the rest of us are taking turns running one-shot adventures in our own particular style, although mostly following the house rules of Ten Foot Polemic.

This one is mine, and exists primarily as a recap for the players (both those who made it and those who couldn't), this is of course an abbreviated retelling, however for those interested (or masochistic) enough to listen to three hours of unedited table talk it can be found here.

Characters:

Doctor Plagueis: failed pawnbroker turned Plague Doctor with a fine grasp of "Surprise Surgery"

Priam the Wildman: A former bowyer who has turned to become a circus geek with the ability to consume anything he can conceivably fit down his esophagus (Specialist with 5/6 in the skill "Eat")

On a world which is an Orrery...

The characters have been rounded together by the large, florid, and incredibly sanguine man representing himself as Captain Bucktholemew Rogers. Having secured their services with the promises of immense riches, as Capt. Rogers apparently knows of the location of a great treasure: a fallen star. These great celestial beings are treasures of themselves, great giants whose skin is platinum, whose ichor is molten gold, and whose hearts are rubies as large as a man's head. Much sought after by myriad of peoples for their material value, and supposed mystical properties of those who consume them. The Captain has also intimated that he has a complex and detailed plan to entrap this star, without facing the dangers that it presents as a massive metal golem, one that is secret but that each of his trusty band with have a precise role to play in.

Our merry band find themselves in the remote settlement of Beörnburg, a wooden palisaded town at the end of a long corded road of felled pines. The rain lashes down and the streets are turned to mud between the rough wooded dwellings. However, our heroes find themselves safe in the warm confines of a well built tavern. Captain Rogers has thrown wide his coffers and is treating all his band to one last night of revelry in civilization before setting off into the wilderness, spare no expense of course, for after this journey they shall all be rich! 

 

Food and beverages are consumed in plenty. Doctor Plagueis filling his available bottles and jars with spirits. Much of this newly discovered "larger" is swilled by all and sundry, especially in a drinking contest between Priam and Captain Rogers which the Wildman wins hands down due to the Captain's inability to shut up for two minutes at a stretch. The local economy is inquired into, and is revealed to be based mostly on the hunting of the local bear population for their pelts. Many drinks are bought, and promises of future monies laid on in order to acquire goods from other tavern denizens. Plagueis gets himself a bear pelt to defend against injury along with a tinder, flint, and candle, and Priam a giant mantrap with the idea of using it as some form of flail in times to come as well as a woodsman's axe. As promises to the locals grow in improbability the evening begins to descend into a confuzing beery haze...

Captain Rogers has indeed spared no expense, including (for some great consideration) evicting the tavern owners from their private room to accommodate himself and his companions. Priam and Plagueis have vague visions of tumbling onto straw beds, at some point coming around to the amorous romping of Captain Rodgers and a local lady of the evening before drifting off again into merciful oblivion, and being woken once more by his deafening snores. Mostly, however, the night passes in blissful oblivion.

As the first light of dawn begins to break through the shuttered windows, the party wakes with heads afire with the aftereffects of excessive drinking, muzzily groping towards consciousness. Cartoonish descriptions of hangovers abound! However, it creeps into the minds of our adventurers that there is no sound of snoring, yet the bulk of Captain Rogers remains splayed upon the bed. After a cursory inspection, and a poke with his pointy doctor stick, Doctor Plagueis determines that the Captain is dead drunk. Although the more astute Priam determines that dead dead would be a better description. Cause of death: apoplexy.

At that point a great pounding of fists besets the door to the room, as a crowd of rather irate locals demand that it is time to settle the bill from the night prior, which with all the various grand promises from the previous night seems to have amounted to one thousand gold pieces. A quick search of the room locates Captain Rogers' purse, which seems suspiciously devoid of money. The one thing it does contain is a map.

The knocking at the door becomes more insistent, as do the cries for payment from the crowd. The door is, for the moment, locked but probably will not hold for long. Luckily there is the eternal escape hatch of a window, and the good Doctor devises the perfect ruse: set a fire and run in the opposite direction. The bedclothes and mattresses are piled upon the late Captain, and an impromptu viking funeral is arranged. Priam posits that flaming bedding hurled at the door will delay the mob, unfortunately setting fire to himself in the process of managing to retrieve some. One loincloth is marked off from Priam's character sheet.

Doctor Plagueis jumps out the window, and lands poorly. Priam decides to clamber down the rather easy to descend outer wall rather than to be dramatic about it. Outside the tavern, a large group of hungover trappers with drunkenly promised IOUs mill around and spot the duo as they emerge from the building (along with a large and obvious pillar of smoke). 

Priam attempts to hold the map hostage, however the angry mob does not seem to understand the value of the paper and simply cries "Get him!" Priam proceeds to follow through on his threat, and chows down on the precious parchment!

 

Kudos to Priam's player for actually taking a bite out of the thing

Doctor Plagueis comes to the rescue and snatches the map out of his grasp before it can be entirely emasticated, and the two start to flee from the irate townsfolk. The Doctor, having some experience in running from angry mobs, streaks ahead easily outpacing the mob. Priam, however, is targeted by three shortchanged beartrappers and is cornered into an alleyway, laying the beartrap behind him. The first pursuer has his legs taken off at the knee in a Tarantinoesque shower of blood, however the other two continue to charge in. Villager bloodrage delivers an almighty beatdown to Priam, knocking him prone and close to death, despite their poor weaponry.

Luckily, the Doctor is ready to return to help hurling forth one of his Doctor Potions whilst simultaneously hitting one of the peasants with a knife. Priam hacks off the legs of the nearest trapper, earning the sobriquet Priam the Foot-Taker, and chugs down the nearby potion... which is revealed to be a sedative which helps him shrug off his wounds but makes his head rather fuzzy.

The chase continues as out heroes break forth, gaining a brief reprieve, and enough time to surprise and murder the last of the beartrappers with a knife to the eye from fifty feet. However, the pursuing mob utilize the tricksy ways of locals, and overtake them using shortcuts. The Doctor proving himself a perfect sniper, whilst Priam efficiently chows down on a new potion and immediately sprouts WOLVERINE CLAWS! As Priam slices through the first villager (wasting some time on foot taking), the mob breaks in panic.

Priam, using his newly developed claws, catclimbs over the town's palisade only to immediately succumb to the sedative. As the town bell begins to ring in general alarums, Doctor Plagueis approaches the gate guard, covered in blood and adorned with a terrifying Doctor mask, and in a low and menacing growl exclaims "I've killed a man will you be next?" The poor guard flees in terror, leaving his halberd behind. With a new polearm and an open town gate before him Plagueis strolls out, and drags Priam off into the woods.

In the dark gloomy woods, possibly being tracked by irate hunters, traipsing through sodden undergrowth, and with no real idea of where they are headed (other than possibly northish?) Doctor Plagueis starts a campfire, and starts drinking illicitly purloined spirits. Priam eventually regains consciousness still under the effects of sedative, and is on about the same level as a rather blitzed Plagueis. 

 

Climbing a tree reveals that there are a lot of trees around here and some hills in the distance, which is helpful as it aligns to the map. Figuring that "Northish" is as good a way as any, the pair set off towards the hills. Priam wipes behind their trail with a pine branch, which does obscure their tracks but leaves a very obvious trail of swept earth. 

The sun starts to set, but wandering through the woods completely sky-clad has had an adverse effect on Priam, and needs doctoring! Potions are applied to mouth, and the result is... 13 bonus hitpoints and Priam is SO FUCKING FULL OF BEANS! Marching through the night carrying the Doctor, Priam strides on throughout the night and upon the next morning the party find themselves amongst the hills.

 

Luckily there is a clearing atop the hill, and a great deal of the surrounding landscape is seen. A distant structure with a tattered flag? A large and mysterious swampland? A tiny whisp of smoke in the distance... Starfall? There is also a small cave at the bottom of the hill, a debate is had about "checking it out on the way back" but it is decided that time could be spent brewing potions (after the GM forgot his own rules about potion brewing times), and nothing could attack from within a cave... right?

The cave is deep, dark, and narrows towards the rear. It does seem an ideal hideout for bandits, or possibly murderers on the run. Skittering of small animals is heard within but deeper investigation is deemed too risky, and thus Doctor Plagueis sets up his makeshift apothecarium near the cave entrance whilst Priam the Wildman keeps a wary lookout a candle set deep within the cave as an early warning. Surely nothing could go wrong at this juncture.

Sounds continue within the cave, but are discounted on the basis of not interrupting the Doctor at his important tasks. Suspicions are roused when the candle vanishes, and alarms are roused as Doctor Plageuis vanishes! Priam swears he just took his eyes off him for a minute. Desperate to rescue his traveling companion and chief substance supplier, Priam launches himself blindly deeper into the cave.

The Doctor focused on bubbling vials and suspicious looking powders, is taken unawares as a bag is rudely thrust over his head and dragged off down the tunnel. Don't split the party! Especially not when there are only two of you! Small clawed hands grab and pull him along, although he struggles against his child sized captors his efforts prove useless against so many. He overhears some sort of hissing, clicking, snarling pseudo-language amongst his captors, but not anything he understands.

Priam follows the muffled cries of the Doctor into the pitch black, his mighty form forced along hands and knees in the small tunnel. He lets out an intimidating growl as he begins to hear the hissing of the enemy. 

The Doctor meanwhile has the bag lifted off his head, but it is still in pitch blackness. Small hands pat the cool Doctor mask, and queries in the unknown language are shouted at him. Fortunately one of the creatures seems to know a small amount of common language and haltingly asks "What...Are...You?" Plagueis introduces himself as the important Doctor he is, offering some weird smelling herbs and leeches as evidence of his profession. The creatures seem not to have heard of "Doctors", and demand he stop his "Pet" that is following them. However, no-one is immune from the powers of the scary Doctor mask.

 

The creatures scatter, and fire back with small crossbows from the darkness. Priam weathers the fire, and bulls through to help Doctor Plagueis by wrestling a small scaly creature off of him. A tense standoff with the hostage permits their departure, although the small things insist on keeping the Doctor's moneybag (still filled with silver from his pawnbroking days) insisting they have a claim on the "starblood."

The term intrigues the Doctor, and negotiations are entered into about help in taking down the star. The creatures are confuzed as to why the Doctor with his glass eyes cannot see in the dark, and so propose to "fix" it for him. Bringing forth a small metal rimmed glass disk that with a whine seems to reveal the cave in luminescent shades of green and black. With finally a good look at the creatures, reveals them to be Kobolds. Hostages are released, and a new temporary alliance is formed!

After some squabbling over the map six small lizard people, equipped with dark goggles for the harsh midday sun, begin to accompany them. They guide Priam and Plagueis through the hills for some days. The Doctor becoming fascinated with the culture of the small dragonfolk, and Priam being much admired for his claws along the way. Eventually, the smoking hill is reached.

 

As they approach the crest of the hill the adventurers note from the safety of the treeline a giant, golden, glowing golem that stands at the centre of a charred crater, singing up at the sky. The most prudent thing would be, claims Priam, to drink highly experimental Doctor juice before going into battle against this monstrosity and toasts to the end of days with the Wildman. Plagueis suddenly spurts twenty metres of hair growth from every follicle, whilst Priam seems to have gone on the trip of his life by ingesting a strong hallucinogen. 

Their well thought out preparations complete the eclectic band runs towards the star! Priam drives the kobolds before them, by the sheer terror of his size and claws and intimidating as the metal humanoid is Priam is moreso. The star responds by growing seventeen new eyes, and stretches tentacles out towards Priam morphing into lips and tongues as they engulf his face... or at least he thinks so, and proceeds to attempt to bite off his own tongue. All that the others see is the arms of the star somehow transforming into many tubed pipes (still weird, but not acid trip weird). 

Pipes or no, the kobolds and Plagueis attempt to swarm the giant and wrestle it to the ground. The giant star throws the assailants aside easily, as the collection of pipes at the star's shoulders begin to spin, belch fire, and emit a sound as to the hammers of the gods. Earth erupts around the crater, and several kobolds are cuts down into red mist, as the futuristic weaponised appendages deal out indiscriminate  firepower. Fortunately the Doctor and Priam fall prone in time to avoid the fire as the treeline behind them is shredded to splinters. 

It was time for a daring and, dare be said, suicidal ploy. Priam being beset by demons on all sides but seeing golden light before him attempts to eat the sunrise, sinking his teeth into the great glowing thing in front of him. Priam feel the glowing warmth of molten gold run down his gullet, as others see him take a hearty bite out of the star. Doctor Plagueis, drawing on all his powers of intimidating bedside manor, commands the star to sleep! The star, somehow astounded by this performance, seems stunlocked... just the time for some surprise surgery!

Climbing atop the temporarily petrified enemy, Plagueis draws on his literal weeks of Doctor training to remove the head from the star. A bonesaw is employed to great effect, and in a burst of ichor the mechanical monster is decapitated.

A star has fallen!

Now I just have to find somewhere in this world for what they said they did with the immense wealth granted by a star carcass... So look forwards for the forthcoming posts on Wild Priam, the Carnival King of Zirkusburg and the Dragon Plagueis.