The World Is An Orrery

One of the things that has really attracted me to OSR, is the fact that so much of it can be absolutely Gonzo. I mean, there's obviously nothing stopping any given game from being Gonzo as you want, but it seems that the high mortality rate of characters helps a lot, for me at least. After all with less emotional investment comes a greater willingness to take risks. Plus the general rules lightness of the systems, and the emphasis on player freedom and lateral thinking, lends itself slightly more to introducing wacky silliness without having to worry about the effect on player classes and abilities. To that end, allow me to present my silliness.

The World Is An Orrery

One of these things

One thing I really loved in reading about Outer Space in Centerra over at Goblin Punch is the idea that, given enough moxie/chutzpah/idiot bull-headedness, you could conceivably get to Outer Space using Medieval/magical/Fairy Tale technology. Be it a carriage pulled by swans, a boat sailing off the edge of the world, or just climbing up a really tall tree you eventually find yourself amongst the ether thinking "Well now what?"

Zeus seen here unimpressed with the Achean space programme

For me I love the idea of Medieval/Early Modern ideas of Space Adventure being the workable truth. Space being difficult to get to, but once you're there you aren't suddenly thrown into a world of hard science. Instead, you can continue bumbling along in a haphazard adventurer fashion in a world where the player is as equally clueless as to the rules of the world as the character would be. Take that science majors! A degree in classics doesn't seem so pointless now, does it?!

Just stumble out into space why don't you?

So, my world is an Orrery. The sun and all the nearby planets are all connected by great pillared mechanisms that make them go around in the cosmic ballet. The stars as well, rather than being distant suns are their own pinwheeling gear enmeshed celestial bodies closer to home. Likewise, this is a geocentric orrery, because that clearly makes much more sense.

The sun is obviously moving in the sky

This, I think, is great for two reasons:

1) Someone obviously built this thing, but... why the fuck would you want to? The whole absurdity of a giant mechanism to recreate something that is familiar to us in nature makes the world seem strange and alien and full of possibilities.

2) This thing is gradually falling apart.

Falling Stars

Stolen straight from the avatar of Calliope himself Neil Gaiman; the stars are not inanimate celestial bodies, but living intelligent beings who pass their time in contemplation and song... until they fall to earth. However in this world, rather than being Claire Danes they are thirty feet tall and made of precious metals, pretty much the same otherwise.

Sort of like this, but tall

The stars sit in their own gear wrought cradles, spinning about in an intricate web of repeated patterns. However, whoever, or whatever, constructed this thing did not evidently see fit to design it this far into the future. The stars, with greater frequency in the last few centuries, have begun to occasionally collide with each other, or the various swirling arms and rings of the greater orrery, breaking free of their moorings and falling towards the centre of the orrery and crashing to earth.

The stars have been watching the earth, and discussing philosophy companionably through the music of the spheres for millennia. They know secrets of magic and natural philosophy, have watched all the history of all the worlds unfold, can discourse at length on the politics of all the planets in the orrery, they may even be able to answer the question of who built the orrery and why. When they fall to earth, they bring their many centuries of wisdom and observation. The thing is, no two stars quite agree.

The Church is vehement that these fallen stars are angels come from heaven, and that all they say will naturally confirm all the wisdom of the Bible, so there is no need for the faithful to actually talk to one. Crusading Orders of Warrior-Astrologers watch for falling stars that they might bundle any and all of these fallen angels into the Church's "protection", never to be seen again. Some speculate that the Church works tirelessly on schemes to afix the stars back into the heavens. Others think that there are hundreds and hundreds of captured stars in fortified basements, crying out in tortured chorus at their imprisonment, robbed of the open sky and the serene companionship of their kin. Still others speculate an ever darker fate for those missing angels.

However, the Church is not the only power anxious to catch a fallen star. Many scholars and magi yearn for the chance to interrogate a star to gain the wisdoms of the universe, many others wish to find a star for the valuable magical properties that they have (it is said that devouring the still beating heart of a star will grant the astro-gourmand immortality, eternal youth, or a plethora of godlike powers depending on which source you credit). However, there are much more mundane reasons leading to the pursuit of fallen stars: they are made of money. Their skin is electrum, their bones adamant, their ichor liquid gold, and their hearts are rubies larger that a man's head. Tribes of Kobolds hunt them for their Dragon overlords driven by the avarice endemic to their kind (although when queried on their motives, they will likely claim "Revenge").

On Clerics

So, there is something that somewhat bothers me about Clerics as a class, and their inclusion into a generic fantasy world. Your usual fantasy world is stuck somewhere in medieval stasis, which is all well and good for adventuring campaigns/fantasy stories, but runs into two stumbling blocks when it relates to Clerics.

The Problems with Clerics

1) Monolithic Monotheistic Churches: medieval history and society in Europe, Western Asia, and North Africa were dominated by largely hierarchical organised monotheistic religions. These churches which were not only incredibly influential in the modes of thought and conception of the universe to their various congregations, but were also political powers in their own rights. These religious institutions, along with the political formations, and cultural trappings, are integral to the medieval setting. The village priest is a stock character right up to the modern day, being a hub of social, spiritual, and moral connectivity in a pre-industrial rural community. As well, the network of higher priests with an institution enmeshed in the political structure of the world. Monotheism is almost as important an element to this, for although such organised cults as the Roman state religion were wide ranging, political, and hierarchical,  they did not have the same view of exclusive monopoly of belief as existed in the medieval world.

Sure, you could demand that all cleric players play as priests of your Crystal Dragon Jesus, and some players may be fine with that, but what if someone wants to worship the Greek Pantheon, or Cthulhu, or themselves? Part of the fun of playing a cleric (at least I think) is having a god of your own.

Not to say that making all of this compatible with the medieval ethos isn't doable, you just need to be conscious of it. A big shout to Ten Foot Polemic and Goblin Punch on their descriptions of polytheistic religions that can include new gods, yet still take up the cultural space of the Catholic Church.

2) Clerical Healing: I think it is often hard for people to recognise how far advanced modern medicine has become even in the last few generations. Antibiotics for example; Calvin Coolidge Jr. died of a blood blister from wearing shoes without socks, whilst his father was US President! One of the most powerful men in the world could not save his own son from just dying from something you would not even need to go to the hospital for these days, and that was less than 100 years ago, they already had powered flight and automobiles and Tommy-Guns!

Clerical healing is pretty much the first thing that Clerics learn to do, it is why they are super-useful after all,so if these are low-level priests within whatever church hierarchy they inhabit,  then every hamlet large enough to have a shrine or small chapel has better healthcare than the majority of people in the modern world. I can guarantee that if instant healing was only a few thoughts and prayers away at all times, we would probably be a lot more reckless. It sort of breaks the balance of the merieval setting is what I am saying.

"But Tim," I hear you cry, "why not just limit healing spells to high ranked priests?"

That's you. That's what you sound like.

First of all: shut up, second of all: if our First-Level Cleric is already a highly ordained priest in their religion, what the hell are they doing slumming it with these vagabond mercenary rat-catcher types that are the other reprobates at first level? Now, Clerics as a class fill a pretty valuable niche in the dungeon delving economy, so it seems a bit reckless to throw out healing magics altogether, however if we are to keep the medieval milieu we must perforce abandon the idea that Clerics are what people generally expect from Priests.

What if Clerics weren't Priests?

What if they were directly visited by their God(s)? Let us default to Christianity/Catholicism/Islam as the rule of the land, an established order with spiritual guidance for all. Then  suddenly, out of fucking nowhere, some random schlub decides he's on a mission from God! First off, if it isn't the main monotheistic God, that shit ain't gonna fly. Secondly, even if you were a devout follower, even priest, if you wake up one day and say "God spoke to me and she says I should do this" Well excuse me, are you the Pope? Are you the Caliph? Who are you to go spouting off these non-doctrinally approved pronouncements? Now having random madmen, heretics, and unbelievers running around is one thing, but what if they actually do perform miracles?

Living breathing miracle workers would be a real problem to an established Church. If you have someone performing miracles in the name of a heretical God you could at least claim it was witchcraft and evil. However if it is in the name of the Church's own God, but with a challenge to established Dogma, that sounds like the recipe for reformation. I mean, as far as I know Martin Luther didn't even perform one miracle and look how that turned out.

No doubt someone is about to bring up the rejoinder of the wonderfully medieval hagiographic tradition: what about saints?

Tired overdone internet memes are even funnier when you repeat them in the same article

Well, let me just point out that one of the things that all Saints have in common, is that they are dead. So it is fine to have someone who is known to have done miracles, demonstrating the undeniable power of your God, but you want them safe in the ground rather than spouting off whatever non-dogma approved nonsense they might come up with like that God doesn't want Kings; or that the rich should give away all their money; or that all debts shall be forgiven, all slaves freed, and no-one shall work.


On A Mission From God

So if Clerics are established as borderline crazy people, in opposition to organized religious bodies, and in possession of a unique connection to the divine whilst wandering the world with disreputable adventurers and murder-hobos, what is it that drives them? Simple: a divine mandate, a mission from God(s).

Pretty much what I was thinking, but in tired overdone internet meme form!

I think it is perfectly reasonable for a Cleric to be entirely driven by a divine quest (alternately, repeatedly badgered by incessant voices in their heads telling them where they must go and what they must do), or to be given the occasional objective: Find the Holy Grail, Reconquer Jerusalem, Save the Orphanage with a Blues Concert, End the Human-Cylon War, etc. Especially since all the Cleric powers come, ostensibly, from this divine connection, it could be argued that there is some quid-pro-quo going on. Add to this that Gods move in mysterious ways beyond the mortal ken, the objective may not be readily apparent to the Cleric; "You must defeat the Sorcerer King Garash" may be just as important a task as "You must eat nothing but eggs for one week" In fact, the more inexplicable the quest, the closer it is to confusing whether the Cleric is actually a conduit for the divine on the mortal plane, or a crazy person with magic powers.